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I've seen a few posts recently calling people out for using "they" when referring to someone with gendered or neo pronouns.

As a long time dumb guy I was under the impression that gender neutral pronouns were basically always acceptable and I'm now concerned that I have been unintentionally making people uncomfortable.

My current understanding based on context is that once someone has made their pronouns known, unless specifically included, 'they' is no longer acceptable. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out

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[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago

But using the explicitly wrong pronouns would also seem to be hurtful.

And shy of asking everyone their pronouns - which often feels invasive - a generic pronoun seems the most polite option until it's clear one way or another.

[-] TBooneChickens@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago

The important distinction is what it means for it to "be clear". Unless someone has indicated what their pronouns are, using they/them for everyone is the polite option. But if you're using he/him for strangers just because they're "clearly a cis man", you're now imposing a transphobic bias on those whom you use they/them

[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 3 points 7 months ago

But if you're using he/him for strangers just because they're "clearly a cis man"

Right, but OP was saying they're using They/Them in cases of ambiguity and getting called out for it

[-] TBooneChickens@hexbear.net 3 points 7 months ago

They were called out for using they/them in cases with no ambiguity, as in, there was a known desired pronoun and they used they/them instead

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this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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