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this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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askchapo
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But using the explicitly wrong pronouns would also seem to be hurtful.
And shy of asking everyone their pronouns - which often feels invasive - a generic pronoun seems the most polite option until it's clear one way or another.
The important distinction is what it means for it to "be clear". Unless someone has indicated what their pronouns are, using they/them for everyone is the polite option. But if you're using he/him for strangers just because they're "clearly a cis man", you're now imposing a transphobic bias on those whom you use they/them
Right, but OP was saying they're using They/Them in cases of ambiguity and getting called out for it
They were called out for using they/them in cases with no ambiguity, as in, there was a known desired pronoun and they used they/them instead