Reading this thread variously - honestly, your relationship sounds exhausting.

It's taking more from you than it's giving back. Regular blowups followed by patch-ups that leave you back where you started, with nothing but fallout and pain to show for it.

She fucks up, but is simultaneously too fragile and yet too able to hold you hostage to be held accountable; somehow you're the one that has to earn your way back into her good graces, and you dare not upset the apple art by trying to change the dynamic or, god forbid, assert some boundaries along the way.

Rinse and repeat until it leaches the calcium right out of your damn bones.

Look, I get it. Anxiety disorders are no fun, mental illness isn't the fault of the person who has it, and I have no doubt that she's a wonderful person overall.

But you're not getting paid for this. You're not her carer, you're not her parent, it's not your job to clean up after her your whole life.

Would you take on that role for someone with stabyouintheface-itis, a condition that caused an otherwise lovely person to stab you in the face every month or two, entirely outside of their control or intent?

Hard pass, am I right? Not their fault, but not your job, so no. The impact of this one is lesser, but the principle is the same.

And yes, people can change and adapt and do better. Supposedly, at least - I haven't seen it myself.

In the meantime, you deserve better things in your life than just pissing it away down someone else's crazyhole.

Be by yourself, or be with someone who doesn't take all your emotional resources just to break even. If your gf eventually manages to turn it around and get in better control of it, such that you can both benefit from the relationship, then great.

But until then, it's just wearing you down and not filling her up. With the best will in the world towards her, you should go elsewhere.