this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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What the fuck
Most of our coffee is drip. Sometimes cold brew. Espesso, cappuccino, Turkish, press, etc…we don’t do that much. Fancy coffee, sure, but not our “it’s Monday and I can’t even” coffee. Or our “it’s Tuesday and I can’t even” coffee, or so on.
Fast service shops and such will have “cappuccino” or “espresso” but I think it’s either concentrate or it’s just not the same.
We do have a serious unspoken caffeine addiction though. It comes from our Protestant work ethic while having our wallets bled dry. We end up with hustle culture and a stimulant addiction. Hooray!
Never buy coffee in the states if you’re from nz/aus or Europe. You WILL be disappointed.
We do have different types of coffee, but you might have to go to a specialty shop to get it like you do at home. If you're talking about regular restaurants it's probably good advice.
I’ve seen your different types of coffee. I spent 6 months in the states, all over. I had ONE good coffee in all that time. Went to thank the Barista - and she was Australian.
Wouldn't you know it, I've been all over Europe and they don't make it quite like I do at home either.
So what's this Australian secret coffee? If you don't tell me I know another Australian I can press.
I’m not from Australia. Coffee where I am is stronger and we don’t sell anything over a 12 ounce cup. Normal sizes are 6 or 8 ounce. Some short strong coffees are 2-4ounce, even with milk.
It’s not so much how they make it, it’s more that it’s so watered down with milk or flavourings. And wtf is that creamer stuff. I’ve never seen it anywhere except the US and Japan.
The creamers and syrups are very weird. Some people here are passionate about them too. It's always a mixed bag when someone says they're picky about their coffee.
My go-to is a big pour over, maybe 15g of coffee and 500mL of water. Of course, being American, I measure everything with plastic spoons from McDonalds instead of a scale. I like espresso too, but I'm not big on lattes. Generally no cream, sugar, or anything added.
On the other end of the spectrum is diner coffee. Usually strong but stale. It's not my favorite but it has a special place in my heart.
If you ever do meet an American coffee snob ask them what they like. We have a whole variety of them.
So are americans fat and lazy, or always busy and hyper work oriented? I’m losing track of the stereotypes here.
Interestingly, both. Americans are hyper work oriented because, you know, we've been trained since birth that if you don't work, you're going to suffer and die (and that's partially true, yay barely affording apartments and food), but when we get off of work, we're not going to work out, invest time in anything but watching the latest Hupeaflix show, and maybe brush our teeth before bed. Food comes out of a bag or box in the freezer, or maybe delivered with the expectation of a tip or your food gets there late, bitch.