this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Found out we're doing a mandatory active-shooter training at work. It'll be "non interactive" which I guess means no fake guns or practice takedowns or whatever they do to scare people. At least one of my coworkers has already expressed adamant opposition to this, so I have at least one ally. I'd be more opposed if I were going to have fake guns pointed at me, but if it's just sitting in a room listening to someone talk, I don't mind being paid to listen to their bullshit. Anyway, beyond what I've said, I don't know much about these trainings, so what are some funny ways I could derail it? Don't hold back

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[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

Write everything down from this thread on a comically rolled up piece of paper. When the opportunity for questions arises get your comically long list of questions out and unroll it bugs bunny style, then begin.

Be totally and completely serious about the questions you have. This is a shooter situation after all, it's an incredibly serious matter and the details all matter.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

the scroll that falls down and unrolls all the way across the room and bumps into the wall, pull out your tiny little reading glasses

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Showing up to the meeting like

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

data-laughing it gets me everytime. All time great visual gag

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have a copy that includes the commercial breaks and the fact that the bit continues after it really puts it over for me

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

HOLD NUMBER 712: ARM BAR!

gets me every fucking time

[–] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

48 yr old Chris Jericho having an enormously popular run based entirely on having a list like santa claus was so good

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Malenko, you claim to be The Man of 1000 Holds, but I counted and you know about 60! But I know 1004, and I wrote em all down!

michael-laugh

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Time machine where i shove Zack Sabre Jr. into Dean vs Joe's 1989 championship match in AJPW.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

absolutely based

[–] Orannis62@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

Put on comically tiny reading glasses after unrolling it