This is more or less something I am actively trying. I just read Convenience Store Woman, and the way the main character/narrator thinks and talks about herself and her convenience store is very similar to how I think of myself and my dispensary. Tbh, I don't know if I've ever identified with a character more than Keiko. So I've decided to become the creature known as a dispensary worker. I have to take care of myself so I can be a good dispensary worker. I have to keep my life in order for the dispensary. It's very important to me, and I'm very important there.

I only just started thinking this way, but so far I'm encouraged. I didn't end the day so hungry it was hard to count money tonight. I made myself eat so I would have focus and energy to close. 2023 was a year of wild change, almost all for the better. In 2024, I'm going to stay right where I am and learn to listen to the voice of the dispensary <3