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Do you think that dating is hard sometimes...?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2023
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I met my wife dating online. Before that it was brutal. Lots of ignored messages. Lots of messaging that just ended (often on the woman's end, but sometimes on my end). And plenty of first dates.
When I first started dating I wasn't picky. Basically any girl interested in me, I'd show interest. Eventually I actually applied myself to dating with purpose. This helped a bit as I was often times being the one to make the decision whether or not to even meet up with a woman. I made sure they met my criteria and wanted the same things as I did. And doing this required that I was honest with myself. I didn't want to party, I wanted children, I wanted someone who would challenge me and call me out on my bullshit, but I also needed someone who wasn't overly sensitive as I am often quite blunt and speak without thinking.
Basically I had to shift from wasting my time with anyone to getting right to the point and making sure our values and trajectories in life aligned. This filtered out a lot of women. Either immediately because we didn't want the same things or because they were put off by my directness.
This is my experience as well. Being picky and only dating people with your time and effort actually increases success.
This is a great point. I think especially men approach dating as a quantity game, when really it should be a quality game.