First of all I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. As a parent, I'm sure it must be difficult to see so many things reflected in your kid, but in an entirely different context of autism.

A couple pointers:

This is rather semantic, but the modern understanding of autism is that it's a spectrum. Asperger's is no longer an official diagnosis, but using the word can clarify what type of autism you're dealing with. Autism comes in a myriad of forms.

I also want to say, I think an adult diagnosis can help in understanding yourself, and understanding your own relation to the world. It can re-contextualize your experiences you've had. And it can help you deal with current and future challenges. You may not need educational help, but many people who are diagnosed with anything like adhd or autism struggle with something in their lives, a struggle that mostly stems from being neuro-atypical. Educational, vocational or professional challenges are not the only things people with autism can struggle with. I struggle with human contact, intimacy, connection and black and white thinking, for example.

Lastly, and I know this may be hard to read. And please don't take this personally. This isn't your Kids fault. I only say this because it is something that happens sometimes. A parent learns about their own struggles, their own challenges, through their kid's diagnosis and care, and sometimes parents can't separate the kid from their own challenges anymore. This isn't necessarily directed at you, OP. But they need you right now, no matter how much you may be hurting yourself. Being diagnosed as a kid can be terrifying. My first question when I was diagnosed at 9 years old was 'Am I gonna die?'

I hope you have people to lean on. Truly do. You need to decide if you need a diagnosis for yourself. If that's gonna help you make life easier, understand yourself and your place in the world better. Maybe talk to people who went through that when they were older. I know some people who had a late diagnosis and even though it messed them up for a few days (I mean, you put your entire life in a different context, it's not nothing) it ultimately helped them.

Hope it helps. Wishing you and the kid the best. Take care.