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I like this approach. "funny meme" aside, I think it is a good way of showing how much a certain language can affect how other people think and feel about a subject. Just read it THAT way and "being neurotypical" suddenly sounds like a disorder that isn't fully compatible with the public, doesn't it?

We live in a world that isn't exactly kind to people on the spectrum. It is loud, flashy, hectic, overwhelming, unrewarding but you're still expected to work like a cog in a machine, despite having fewer and fewer places where you'd actually "fit in" without grinding gears, and whenever there is some sort of public talk about that topic, it always, always sounds like the affected person is the problem and personally responsible for fixing themselves, when a no small part of "not fitting in" is due to society itself. Maybe a change in language is due to remove that stigma.

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[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 68 points 1 year ago

You read into phrases past their actual meanings

Instead of saying what you think, you expect others to infer it based on subjective social rules

I see these as legitimately bad things that people should not do. The fact that society considers this normal is horrible!

[-] BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

I think of it as a dialect difference. Allistic people aren't "not saying what they think" they are saying exactly what they think. That combination of words just has a specific meaning to other Allistic people outside of their Webster definition. It's gibberish/meaningless if you speak a different dialect though.

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

What people on the spectrum may not understand is that language is more than just the exchanging of raw information. It's culture, it's artistic, and it's a way to communicate intangible feelings and emotions.

[-] carbon_based@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Like other commenters, I also think that most neurodivergent people understand this very well. Their problem arises where they understand it even much further, like seeing the implications of such normalities. For example, that this must be one of the sources of so many misunderstandings between different cultures (and subcultures!). I can not just assume that everyone I meet speaks the same social language that I grew up in.

And is it not rude to assume that everyone's mind works in the same way ... or that others would camouflage in a die-cut way as someone they are not truely; is it not kind of intellectually flat to assume self-similarity, given that this is so obviously not the case -- I mean divergent or not, everyone is just so engraved by their past experience that we have no true idea what mental process is going on inside another person unless we get to know them more closely.

e: or put in different words, what to do if the intangible feelings and emotions communicated by someone just don't match their verbal message? Or worse, what to do when we cearly see someones cognitive dissonance but we are expected to somehow follow that (it's an illness and following through would be self-denial)?

May read: The Double Empathy Problem;
more on affective vs. cognitive empathy: Lost in Translation: The Social Language Theory of Neurodivergence (part 1); (part 2)

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

I think they understand that just fine.

[-] Globeparasite@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

"You read into phrases past their actual meanings" "Instead of saying what you think, you expect others to infer it based on subjective social rules"

The main issues is that you have to do that because other people will use double meanings no matter what. For exemple to double cross you regarding something. So you have to be able to read them.

Meanwhile there's actually an other case when people use double meanings : when they can't foster the courage to tell you something really important that would change everything, or to which you could react badly. Like that they are in love with you. In that case infered double meanings will allow the other person to react by sending similar double meanings to signify that they are on the same page, creating a much reassuring envirronment to finally confess their feelings.

Our species is insanely bad at finding partner. Like wildly bad.

[-] angrystego@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

That sounds as if a daltonic found it horrible that other people use and enjoy colours he cannot separate. I understand it makes your life harder, but you can't tell people not to use something that is extremely usefull just because you can't participate.

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this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
689 points (94.1% liked)

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