I'm gay.
My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic.
Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense.
>Fishing show on TV in the living room
>Watching it with mom and dad
>Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff
>Me: "It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there"
>Dad: "Time flies when you're a removed."
>Go to my room
It's getting ridiculous. He goes out of his way to respond to everything I do by calling me a removed.
Turn it off, like a light switch
There, it's gone
My hetero side just won
I'm all better now
Boys should be with girls, that's Heavenly Father's plan
So if you ever feel you'd rather be with a man,
Turn it off!
"Well, I think it's okay that you're having gay thoughts, just so long as you never act on them"
No, 'cause then you're just keeping it down
Like a dimmer switch on low, thinking nobody needs to know
But that's not true!
Being gay is bad but lying is worse
So just realize you have a curable curse,
And turn it off!
Absolutely chilling. The best kind of comedy.