I'm going to Hell for this

I used to live with someone and it seemed like paper would vanish pretty quickly. During the VID, I asked them to help find TP, which they didn’t help with for a while, then eventually picked up a 4pk of the worst paper I’ve ever seen.

I found a pack of my own paper, and I floated the idea to my partner: if we wanted to know how much was being used, we could just use exclusively our paper and never the stuff in the restroom. I felt like a crazy person floating the experiment, but I had to know. My partner laughed and said they were totally on board.

My findings: This roommate was going through a half to an ENTIRE ROLL of paper DAILY. Like, he eventually found full rolls of nicer paper. I’ve never imagined someone going through a roll of ultra super whatever in a single day, from shitting and only shitting.

He moved out and we got a bidet. I use four squares on a normal day, and up to ten squares if I’m pooping five or six times.

Throw in the synergistic combination of morbid obesity, horrid diet, and depression/anxiety.

I have timed my body to need to shit just before I take a shower, so when im done I just pinch my cheeks together and waddle into the shower and rinse off my ass

Also baby wipes are extremely effective for those with hairy bums, and unscented baby wipes are going to be way cheaper than camo styled tactical "man wipes" obviously it's more wasteful than a bidet, but if it works it works

Every body is different, but if you have trouble with appropriate butt cleanliness, it may take a combination of things to achieve cleanliness