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this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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ADHD
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Both. Currently she wants help deciding how long to stay in which places, and wants help picking and booking hotels. So she's trying to wait until I'm ready to plan, but I'm basically never ready to plan until it's right before the trip and I need to rush to make up for lost time.
The good old deadline efficiency.
A familiar way of getting work done.
Then you need to work on getting yourself into the right frame of mind and initiate the planning when you can cope with it. In plenty of time to actually do what needs to be done. Or, give her free rein to make all the decisions now and take responsibility for planning what you will do when you're there so she actually gets a break out of it.
Whatever happens, if she makes the 'wrong' decisions because you wouldn't give her any input, you don't get to say a word about it (apart from "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair on you. It's cool, we'll make the best of it."