this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2026
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Comic Strips
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Other Comic Communities of Interest
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I do know how to erase your college debt!
1: Move to a different country that doesn't use the US credit system (which is most of them). Bring all your major assets with you, leaving nothing of value in the US to be seized -- most importantly, close any US bank/investment accounts and open ones at foreign-owned institutions instead.
2: Stop paying. Instruct your family members not to pay either. (The creditors might go after them for payment, but as long as they didn't cosign your loans, they don't have to pay jack shit.)
3: Wait 7 years. (Statute of limitations for debt collection actions.)
4: You can now return to the US (if you even want to), and you're legally off the hook for that student debt. Technically, you still owe it, but since the statute of limitations has passed, they're not allowed to take any collection actions. They will still try to contact you and pester you and lie to you, telling you all kinds of things -- most of them false -- to try and get you to pay, but you just have to ignore them. Don't pay a single cent -- that's very important: don't pay anything. Making even a tiny payment may reset everything back to square one.
And, yes, I know some of those are easier said than done ... but if it's to get rid of tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands in student debt, it can be worth the effort.
What major assets can you move with you? Converting everything to gold? That's super heavy. Diamonds are worthless. No one can agree on the value of gems. Crypto might be OK for really short term.
Convert everything to RAM. It's lightweight and appreciating in value every month!
Plain old money would work fine, if you want something easily transportable. Simply sell the asset, then go to a currency exchange and exchange it for the currency of where you're going. Or, in some cases, you'll be able to just keep it in US dollars, because in some countries US dollars are widely accepted alongside the local currency.
Obviously, you can't bring real estate assets with you -- those would have to be sold and then you transfer the money to your new overseas accounts. For any cars you own, it's probably best to do the same, as the cost of transporting them could be high. But if you're really attached to a certain car, you could definitely have it shipped to your new home if you want to and if it fits within your moving budget. For any other valuable tangible assets you have (anything small enough to easily transport), you could also just take it with you. Of course, the most likely case is that most of your assets are intangible -- bank accounts and the like. And that's easy enough to transfer into your new overseas bank.
Anyway, if you're drowning in student debt and struggling to pay it off, you probably don't have very many major assets to worry about in the first place. I'm guessing that most people in that situation don't own a house or have any big investment accounts or stockpiles of gold or anything. It's likely that they don't even own their car outright, or if they do, the car is worth so little money that it's barely worth worrying about.
I don't think it would take more than 2 or 3 kg of gold to pay off a loan. But I'm not American, so