GenZedong

Glad it helped you. In a way, I have thought about it many times and wanted to, but it's complicated (emotionally, even if technically not that complicated in concept depending on how one looks at leaving). The short version is dealing with people who are chronically angsty/anxious about just about everything, who are also very extroverted about it and feed into each other's angst, and then more recently, one of them has stage four cancer, so it means all the pre-existing family dynamics that were a problem become amplified. In my view of it, a lot of codependency going on, including some of it on my end from getting ensnared in the dynamic in my own way over time. And because of how the situation is now, there is legitimate reason to be over the top in a way; though still, not reason to be over the top about every little thing. I'm pretty sure there is some undiagnosed ND in the picture that is not just me (in my case, ADHD - in theirs ADHD in one and autism spectrum in another). So you can imagine angsty chronic anxiety boomers with limited coping mechanisms and no diagnosis to ground them playing off each other's ND, mixed with some good ole fashion internalized patriarchy dynamic, setting the stage for a whirlwind of people who cannot chill to save their lives and seem to have a hard time with the concept that they can't handle life with just themselves, calling upon me (because it's convenient), calling upon other siblings as logistically feasible (less convenient), and ending up in and out of ER and hospital when crisis arrives.

I could say some of it's my own fault for not doing more to become independent and break off from it before reaching a medical crisis like this. But I also probably would have had a much easier time reaching that point if I hadn't internalized so much of their anxiety of day to day things. Anyway, like I said, complicated and I try not to get too specific in getting into here even though I sometimes want to, so that I'm not revealing too much about my personal life.