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Source?
18 USC 333, maybe more 331 for coins. You might hit 332, but specific callouts to the types of metals in the coins involved.
Sooooo..... you're partly right. The US draws a distinction between coins and banknotes, and 18 USC 333 only applies to banknotes. 332 is only for specifically trying to steal gold or silver out of older coins, which at this point is basically moot because the melt value is already way above face value. 333 applies to all coinage and has "fraudulently" as an explicit element. Basically, as long as you don't fuck with coins to the degree that it seems like you've come up with some scheme to defraud the government (there's a regulation, for instance, that bars massively changing bills into pennies and nickels just so you can melt them down for the metal value), then you do you with the sharpie or even the penny squisher.
Then, about 18 USC 333... Yes, nominally, anything that you do with an intent to fuck it up so much that the Bureau of engraving and printing is against the plain language of that code. In addition, 475 explicitly bars people from marking up cash to be used an advertisement, presumably also thereby making it unfit for reissue.
However, 333 runs up against a couple of issues. First, is a common law principle of de minimis and the practical realities of enforcement. As you say, it's not going to be an issue with a single bill unless you get an asshole cop, but even then the asshole cop won't get anything of significance pinned on you for such an insubstantial violation. Second, and maybe more important in a hypothetical discussion, is the first amendment. Cash is a pretty blatant symbol of the government, the country, the economy, and a million other things. If almost anything about the amount, timing, or manner of the way you defaced the cash could be interpreted as "speech" in a meaningful way, then you're protected, same as with burning a flag. Pretty much unless you're trying to burn down a BEP plant or bleach a bunch of singles to reprint as counterfeit 100s (the main reason for the law, AFAIK), a first amendment argument is going to be very easy to make, to the point where it's effectively not a crime to light your cigar with a piece of burning money.
It even says it twice in the statute yall, 18 usc 333 applies to bank bills, draft notes or any evidence of debt. It's most of the text.
You're not parsing the entire statute;. The clause "issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System" distinguishes paper money (Federal Reserve notes) from coins coming from the mint. They are not the same. Maybe in a saner monetary system they would be, but because of how paper money developed in the US, they are not.
Those codes cover acts of fraud. You are free to deface money for funsies. source
333 doesn't mention fraud in any way. As mentioned, you're protecting against assholes effectively. Your source doesn't seem tohave any legal claims at all or mention any us codes in any way.
It basically just says yeah we feel like it's fine and you're probably okay.
You are wrong.
https://www.usmint.gov/resources/business-guidelines-faq