this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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Or “don’t count on it” (because if you did you’d be counting for eternity)
I’m sure there’s more I’m not thinking of right now…
“Why don’t you wish in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one fills up first”
… yeah, I like the chair one
When I was a kid I thought the saying was “why don’t you piss in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one fills first?” And I was like wow adults are gross
My mother used to say "If wishes were horses," and I had no idea where that came from. I didn't get internet until after her death in 2001. I looked up that saying and the complete version is, " If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. " Apparently, it's a very old saying so I guess adults weren't always gross.
No, that's wrong. Here's the correct saying: If wishes were horses than I horse you a wish cock up the ass.
"Don't kink shame"
idk which hand you’d fill first doing that method, lmao
It’s basically just a crass way to say “wishing is for suckers”
Definitely the piss hand, unless your bowels are unwell.
..is not a sentence I thought I'd be typing today 😄
Liquid is harder to hold tho, so I think it depends on how you (subjectively) define when your hand is “full”
That sounds kinda close to an old saying I've heard once in over 40 years
Put a finger in your mouth and a finger in your anus, and hope; if that doesn't work, switch around.
Lmao, where’d you hear that one?
High school from some staff member I think. Maybe 25 years ago.
Well I know what phrase I'm using at the next opportunity