this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2026
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Mental Health

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How good are you at spotting the bad ones? (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 days ago by LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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[–] confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

For reasons that are a mystery to me, I grew up with a sister that did not like me and she was extreme manipulative towards me. I am the youngest child and my parents never took the time to understand me so I only had myself to turn to when dealing with my sister.

I was forced to learn from her bad examples of how to not treat other people. It was rough because learning from bad examples takes time. Time to understand the feelings involved. Time to figure out a better way to treat other people. Time to put those thoughts into a self maintaining habit. If I was learning good habits from good examples, I could skip straight to forming positive habits.

I say all this to say that I've been doing this for a long time now. I am quite good at spotting and avoiding certain people. Especially manipulative people. These days I find myself needing to question why I am avoiding a person because something inside me has already figured it out before I am able to put those feelings into words.

I an very thankful to have met some people who have shown they are good, safe people. It's nice to have those examples to learn from.