I’ve been off work in April. I’d been struggling to do anything, even the simplest of tasks and eventually everything ground to a halt. It’s usually pretty bad during winter times, but some years it’s particularly horrible. I was diagnosed initially as Bipolar Type 2 as the issue seemed to be a cycle of long downs and ups. Then I got an ADHD diagnosis and the medication helped with the ‘brain fog’. But it didn’t solve everything. After awhile the task initiation problem always reappears. My doctors often say it’s depression and increase the anti-depressant medication I’m on. Sometimes you get a temporary bump in activity a few weeks later but it never really goes away for good.
A recent trip to the northern summer where my symptoms mostly alleviated suggested it’s likely a co-morbidity between Seasonal Affective Disorder and ADHD. I’ve started light therapy which is helping a little, but I still feel stuck.
The attached image is my ‘model’ for how I function. Currently, at the start of Spring, I feel the same as I did late April when I left work. This makes sense accordingly to the model. But it feels like the uptake in energy during the summer is masking this task initiation problem rather than being a ‘cure’ for it. Every time the energy dips below normal it reveals how much I’m struggling.
I’m sick of this. I just want to go back to work. Summers are great – I go running, eat healthy, get creative, fix up the house. Every other season is rubbish.
This is more of a rant than anything else, but any advice would be appreciated. Other than saying ‘just start small and do the task’ that is. I’ve been given that advice way too many times to no effect.
There's more than just light, but that's definitely part of the problem. I've been putting off getting one of those lights but I'm gonna need it in about a month or two when mornings get super dark. Do you have a link for either of the lights you've used?
But for me it's also the general weather, from oct to march it's just... muddy. Like a nice snowy winter is less depressing, but when it's muddy and cold, but not freezing, it really sucks.
I’m sorry, for both it was a while ago. The gradual activation one is a configured Philips light bulb, I think.
I have moved quite a bit and I can tell you: moving south has been absolutely amazing for my mental health! I loved everything about my life in the north, except the weather and the winter and the short days and… there is just no fixing. I now live a bit souther and loving it.
@Eq0@literature.cafe I definitely have considered moving to the north of where I live, which luckily has longer days and a nicer climate. My wife and I have been looking at work/houses already, but it's a complicated move, and requires a lot of consideration first. Ideally we would spend half a year somewhere warmer and half a year where we currently are, but that's not practical without finances which we definitely don't have access to.
@boonhet@sopuli.xyz I've been using the Luminette 3 glasses, as anecdotally they seemed to get the best results from the SAD community. Logically being able to maintain the position of the light consistently and go about your morning while wearing them is a plus. I am noticing a definite improvement in energy and mood, but sometimes that just makes the other problems around you more evident (though being able to see the problems is important).