Before that, Kiedis, now 63, had a relationship with Heather Christie, who was 22 years his junior. When the pair welcomed their son, Everly Bear, in 2007, Kiedis was 44 and his partner was 21.

In the latest episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me, Williams and her co-host Joanne McNally discussed age-gap relationships, with the former I’m a Celebrity campmate saying: “Do you know who else I find really disappointing, because I really like the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Anthony Kiedis.”

Seemingly referring to his romance with Vestergaard, Williams continued: “He is like 54 or something, and he is going out with a 19-year-old. And it is like, ‘Dude, what are you talking about?’”

McNally replied: “I've seen this. I just accept now that most men, all men, are drawn to – I'm going to be very careful how I say this – significantly younger women. That's all I'm going to say. It is what it is and I don't think there's any getting away from it. We judge it but it's not going to change.”

“I would have to say that it is not all men,” Williams continued. “Because I do think it is a very specific thing.”

Addressing why younger women might decide to date older men, McNally added: “And of course, people like him [Anthony Kiedis] and rockstars like him can get away with it because no 19-year-old girl wants to be going out with some old lad who is driving a Toyota Corolla around town.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 27 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Plenty of young girls are attracted to older men, I experienced it myself up to around 55.

The 55 year old has the life experience to know that they're taking advantage if they fuck a teenager. The power dynamic is inherently imbalanced, especially with a rock star.

[–] impairedimperator@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don't know if power imbalance is the right frame to work from, here. Ultimately, rock stars and other public persona have a power imbalance with basically everyone. I once had a short term fling with an older lady who turned out to also be worth north of half a bil. There was absolutely a power imbalance involved when she had her private plane pick me up for a date weekend across Europe.

I think you might look more to, I guess, "life stage". Back when I was in college, I remember there being relationships between college freshmen and college seniors, and well as relationships between college freshmen and high school seniors. Generally speaking, the freshmen dating high school seniors had longer term more stable relationships with a smaller age gap...and yet they got shit on much more than college freshmen/seniors. Because a college student and a high school student are in different stages of their life.

I imagine you end up with similar situations here. I genuinely don't think a rock star has emotionally matured past teens/early 20s, because they never really had to grow up once the money showed up.

I struggle with dating quite a bit, but I imagine I'd have more in common with a 20 year old that's been working for 2+ years, than a 26 year old grad student that hasnt worked a non-TA job in their life. Although I don't think either would be age appropriate. Just illustrating the example.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He's got more than one defining characteristic that causes an inherent power imbalance - age, money, and influence.

It's possible for age-gap relationships to be healthy, I absolutely believe this.

But I don't believe it in the case of Kiedis with his history of raping children.

[–] impairedimperator@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

True, this particular pedo is still a pedo. Note that my life stage analysis still holds true for this and previous improprieties.

My point was to question the power imbalance phrasing. I think that should be retired in favor of something that is more reflective of (in my opinion) actually predatory relationships. Life stage is almost a structural, inherent power imbalance. Power imbalance on its own can just reflect a difference in decision making.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I prefer the campsite rule myself:

The Campsite Rule, coined by sex advice columnist Dan Savage, states that older or more experienced partners in an age-gap or unequal relationship must leave the younger or less-experienced partner in at least as good a physical and emotional state as they found them

[–] impairedimperator@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The fact that limited to people with less power than you makes me confused...why not everyone?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

It is for everyone, but especially with power imbalance relationships.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

to know that they're taking advantage

Not everyone agrees with the premise, so it doesn't follow. Sex and romance are not inherently harmful, and relationships with large age-gaps are not inherently harmful either. Society would do well to stop treatiing sex as taboo. That is harmful.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This situation is inherently predatory. A much older rock star has a lot more power than a 19 year old in many, many ways.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That doesn't at all make such a relationship "inherently predatory", but you're free to believe whatever tf you want.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yes it does. He has significantly more money, fame, and influence.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Sex and romance are not inherently harmful. Having more money, fame, or influence than one's partner does not make the relationship predatory. I'll repeat: Society would do well to stop treating sex as taboo. Sexual stigma is terrible for us all.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Treating all sex and rape as inherently good and healthy is wild.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Strawman, meet velma. velma, strawman. lol

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You're the one up and down this thread defending pedophiles.

[–] keiko@fedia.io -4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This thread has nothing to do with pedophiles. Y'all can throw that word around as much as you want, but it's not relevant to any of these comments. It's your little "gotcha" word. It's a weak response every time you resort to it.

I'm usually browsing while not logged in, reading all sorts of hateful shit and not bothering to login to say anything. I happened to see this thread while still awake and still logged in. Lots of y'all on fedi are straight-up bullies. I decided to finally say "why the fuck not" and respond to obvious bullshit.

(also, for anyone who saw my meme posts, you'd know i generally try to respond to literally everything that seems directed at me or which i feel i can contribute a worthwhile response.)

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Justifying the rape of children by asserting that they can consent to sex with adults is pedophile cope.