5
Star Wars Tabletop: The Mechanic
(aussie.zone)
Here's a narrated version on YouTube. 16:46
Text transcription in the comments.
CONTINUED I exit the ship with a datapad, the blaster cannon, and a small backpack. The party gets a little chuckle on how silly my character looks. (I was a short, slim male human who was beginning to go bald and had a belly I could never get rid of. I looked a bit like a shorter version of Dale from King of the Hill.)
The battle is engaged. The party is fighting mercenaries, battle droids, and Dark Force-Users in an all-out melee. I'm standing in the back, shooting at the bigger things with my cannon.
Damn, that was a short post. I forgot to add the TO BE CONTINUED as well. Just a second...
TO BE CONTINUED
CONTINUED
The party mops up the minions pretty easily. When the fight's over, the building they're looking at collapses.
Standing in front of it is the BBEG, and five of his elite guards. (We had six party members so it matched up)
They party and the BBEG get into what I can only term as a monologue-off. The BBEG would say something inane about evil, and one of the Jedi would counter them with a short speech of his own. It was all very DBZ-esque, and it lasted three hours of real time. When they all finally run out of cringeworthy cliches, the final battle begins.
Lightsabers and force powers are on display like it's the Fourth of July. Lightning is shooting everywhere, and chunks of masonry are floating about at high velocities.
I put down my cannon, and begin tapping into my datapad. This datapad was interesting. I had spent a lot of money upgrading it's hardware, as well as giving it a remote connection to the ship's systems.
TO BE CONTINUED
CONTINUED
The party had spent a lot of time upgrading the ship. It was their baby. Upgraded engines, redundancy systems, and more weapons than you could shake a womp rat at. They also relied on their patient mechanic to install all of these systems.
The remote access capability of the datapad essentially made the ship operate by remote control. I moved out of the way, and had all of the ship's weapons unload into the fight.
The entire party stops what it's doing and looks at me out of game. I poker-face'd the lot of them, and said, "What? You wanted my to help!"
Three of the Jedi die, and all of the elite guards die. The two remaining Jedi, thinking that I've done all of the heavy lifting for them, turn to the BBEG and start to advance on him. He starts blubbering about how they aren't supposed to kill him because they're SUPER SENTAI SPACE JEDI.
That's when the DM looks at them and goes, "When you all get up six feet from the BBEG, you hear the distinctive sound of a lightsaber activating behind you." They turn around and see my character holding a red lightsaber with a sneer on his face.
"God I hate you people"
TO BE CONTINUED
CONTINUED (though we're near the end)
While it was still my turn I shoved the lightsaber through the rich bitch's chest (she was one of the survivors)
All that's left are the original Jedi, me, and the BBEG. The Jedi looks at me in character and attempts to start a speech. The DM lets him go on for ten seconds and then has the BBEG Force Lightning him in the back. The Jedi was already injured from the earlier fights (and the ship-based weaponry) and folds like a bad poker hand.
While I'm still looking at the Jedi's body, the BBEG stands up, dusts himself off, and starts talking about how I should join him, and he'll gladly share the Galaxy with me if I can help him kill the Emperor and his apprentice.
I blast him up against a wall, and cut off his arms with my lightsaber.
"A YEAR AND A HALF. That is how long I had to play this game. A year and a half of putting up with them, hiding, cringing, bowing and scraping. Being the good little mechanic so they'd let me leave the ship. A YEAR AND A FUCKING HALF of dealng with arrogance, stupidity, and a blind sense of self-righteousness. ALL that kept me going that WHOLE TIME was thinking about what I was going to do to them, ALL OF THEM, when the time was right. YOU STOLE THAT FROM ME! GIVE ME BACK MY YEAR AND A HALF!"
My character continued to yell things along that line as I cut the BBEG into smaller and smaller pieces and scorched the pieces with Lightning.
That party didn't talk to me for 3 months IRL. The DM finally convinced everyone to make up, and sit down for a new campaign.
The setting?
A new Sith Lord has arisen, and slain the Emperor. Lord Vader has pledged his support, and the Empire is winning against the rebels, having almost completely obliterated them.
The party chose not to fight him.
THE END
I'm glad you approve. That was actually one of the longest campaigns I ever played with that group. Haven't seen any of them in years, though.
I actually stood up and was yelling the part about a year and a half at the DM. He was laughing and the rest of the group was looking at me like I kick puppies for fun.