I am a medical doctor but I chose not to do residency because I was not in a good place mentally. I got my ass kicked so badly in third and fourth year. I never failed an exam and honored most of my rotations but the culture was baseline harsh and at its worst outright abusive. I don't think any of this had to do with my capacity to learn facts or to empathize with patients. I just didn't like the people I worked under. I was so miserable. Fourth year was better than third but overall I learned the hospital wasn't a place where I wanted to be.
I am still in contact with my school and they are being nice but since they are all academic physicians they don't know about what my path could look like without residency. I have been looking up what my alternatives are, but I don't have a mentor who would be able to guide me about this specifically and I feel so lost. My family don't know anything about it and can't give any advice. I just want to talk to someone who can show me a light because right now it seems like I did all this to go nowhere, and I'm not suicidal but life does not feel exciting or hopeful right now.
Thank you