this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
342 points (97.8% liked)
Greentext
8447 readers
1493 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Its called avoidant bonding type.
Yeah, some people want to be abused too, and they feel the ick if the person isn't abusive and starts avoiding them.
i had an ex who broke up with me because I wouldn't physically beat her, and like kept trying to goad me into punching and hitting her.
and no not in a bdsm way, it was in a 'my daddy beat my mom and that's what i think love is' way. she basically said I don't love her unless I 'show her what a real man I am by making her stay with me'.
that was one of the most fucked up nights of my life. took me like two years to get over that. some people are truly and seriously emotionally fucked up and think they are 'right' and everyone else is 'wrong'.
Sometimes it's genetics too, some adoptees are all fucked up even if the foster parents do their best to lead them from a young age
Which is ironic cos no binding gets done in that case
So you just stop bonding?
You can change your attachment style with effort. I naturally had disorganized attachment and my wife initially leaned towards avoidant (avoidant is more bailing or disinvesting when things get hard), but we've both done a lot of work and display secure attachment towards each other and in general these days
That would be noble.
One might say inert.
~~aromantic asexual~~ noble and inert
I like your username
Basically yes. Once things get too "close" or too "real" people with that attachment style tend to get really scared and bail.
If you think of it like everyone has their ideal "closeness" range, it makes more sense.
Some people like to be extremely close and become one combined person. Others like to keep partners at arm's length. Neither one is "wrong", they're just incompatible with each other.
If you get two compatible avoidant people, they tend to keep things casual and aloof, but know each other very well over the years. They just don't usually live in the same house.
and then they go around complaining to everyone how nobody is 'deep' enough for them or something similar. i notice folks like that love to think they are like the most 'deep' person who ever lived... shit's so weird.
Eh plenty aren't, you just don't meet them because they don't bother trying to bond with people.