Stop Drinking

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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.

We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.

Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.

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My first Friday (feddit.org)

submitted 22 hours ago by mech@feddit.org to c/stopdrinking@lemmy.world

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I quit drinking last Sunday.

This time, not "for a month", or "only on special occasions", or "not at home", or "not during the week".
I tried all those before, many times.
Last week it hit me like a hammer: I'm an alcoholic, and have been for over 20 years. The realization what I had lost to alcohol in all those years made me weep.

And it had reached a point where I could already see the bottomless pit that would swallow my life, looming ahead, closer than expected.
I still have half my life ahead of me, so the only choice was to stop walking towards that cliff.
And that meant: I won't drink anymore. Ever.

What surprised me was how easy the decision was. And the strength of my resolve.

But now it's Friday. I'm off work. It's 5pm.
And for about half an hour, all my resolve was just gone. "Hey you made it through the week, let's celebrate and relax."

I managed to not buy the usual sixpack and bottle of wine on the way home, which feels like a great achievement. But that half hour where suddenly something in me just casually swiped away the decision I had made scared the hell out of me.

I'm strong, but apparently at any point I can just stop being me for a moment, so does that strength really protect me?

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[–] disevani@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Yes, that strenght will protect you. I felt the same for quite some time, but now i'm in my 6th year been sober, all thanks to that strenght! And don't worry about not feeling yourself. Now that you are sober, you actually just started being yourself again! It takes time to get used to that, so just take that time :)

I'm very happy for you! Keep up the good work.

[–] mech@feddit.org 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

you actually just started being yourself again

That's another thing that scares me. I was drinking for my entire adult life, so I really have no idea what being myself sober will be like.

[–] disevani@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

That's going to be a little tough at first, but you'll get used to it pretty fast!

To help that proces going, try to find some things to do.

Summary of my proces (if it's okay if i share that):

first couple of weeks/months: i made sure to clean up my house (and keeping it that way) and took some longer showers. Made a little walk as often as i think i could handle. Started eating more veggies and fruit, preparing them is just as helpful as it is for your health! After a while i felt more in control just by doing such simple things.
After the first years: i started doing charity work and moved to my own appartment! Within the second year of being sober i managed to also quit smoking. I kept doing the things i listed above, without adding much to it. Now, i felt really in control, but i often had a hard time enjoying the sober life.
I'm ~5,5 years further. Now i have managed to pickup even more charity work, i workout 4 times a week for over a year now and even more since last week, i'm learning how to play some instruments and make music, i started a diet a year ago and love eating my everyday carrot snack time, i have healthy and good contact with friends and family, i've renovated my appartment and have some money on the bank, i even joined a photography club and go out with my cameras a lot!

Life has become enjoyable again! I still have moment where everything seems dark, but everyone has that. That's okay. I get through that.
And so do you! You have made the first important steps and you've found your true motivation. The hardest part is over. Now, enjoy your new life. If you ever need to talk, i'm (and we are) here.

[–] mech@feddit.org 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Your comment just made me tear up -
I used to love to hike, rock-climb, sew, decorate, cook, did charitable work in a youth center, trained for a marathon, learnt the guitar and did photography...back when I didn't drink as much.
I just...stopped doing all those things one by one.
On one hand, that makes me incredibly sad right now.
But on the other hand, I guess I have these things to return to. It kinda feels like waking up from a long sleep. I still have 3 guitars, 5 cameras and my camping gear laying around and collecting dust.

[–] disevani@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I hope it is the good kind of feeling sad, i hope i didn't make you feel like crap... If so, im truly sorry!

If you enjoyed all those things then, try them out again! But only continue if you feel happy doing them. Don't force it. Take it slow, and just experience it! Whatever you feel, that's okay :)

With 3 guitars and 5 cameras, i'm sure you can pickup the love you had for them again. Creativity is what i love most, and what helps me out the most.

[–] mech@feddit.org 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

No, you didn't make me feel bad, I'm just grieving a bit for the time I wasted.
And now my cat snapped me out of it, by toppling over the empty beer cans that still stand next to my desk.
She wants me to clean up, I guess. Thanks for your support and kind words!

[–] disevani@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

I'm glad to hear it (grieving is okay), and happy to help. And you better listen to your cat! She sounds very wise ;)

Goodluck with all!