this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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gardening
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read braiding sweetgrass, lib
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Let it grow ^.^
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That's my biggest problem i feel like psychologically strangling me and keeping me from doing anything, not feeling like i have the (mostly financial) resources to get involved in learning anything... i want to do stuff like add paving stones to part of my back yard, maybe do a little wrap around porch thing or something, or like this grow room set up thing (we have several unused outbuildings with power and one with water that i could literally use for that)
but I have this constant sense of "what if I start, get into the weeds or fuck it up somehow, and everything I need to finish it ends up actually being way more money than i thought" while I'm also in a constant state of "fuck we need more money, we need to save, we need [X big purchase] soon"
I feel like i need a couple thousand dollars in my bank account just to feel safe enough to have agency as a person and I haven't had that in years
I feel that. Drives me nuts that so many things are “can’t be done” due to external constraints. My dream “job” is to be a civil tinkerer and just go around helping people build out projects they “can’t do” but would improve their quality of living. I’ve got enough hillbilly ingenuity leftover that I think anything can be solved with time and creativity; but unlike my Appalachian predecessors I live in a society