this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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He absolutely nailed the character.
You have to hand it to the Kelvin movies, just about all of them are amazing send ups to the original actors and characters.
The actors I liked a lot, they all did great at capturing the nuances. The plots.... meh. They also didn't have the same realistic "feel" of the classic TV/movies. It was more "arcadish" and shiny. I will say there are a few scenes/lines in some of them that I liked, even though it was a different timeline. "Your father was captain of a starship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives, including your mother's. And yours. I dare you to do better." I still prefer the original Kirk origin, and the Kirk in the various novels over the years is a bad ass prodigy.
The actors deserved a better movie.
I've called Star Trek 2009 a big budget fanfic because it has all of the ignorance of one. It feels like it was put together by a series of "I want to have a scene where this happens because it'll be cool." Kirk is born during a space battle. He drives a Corvette off a cliff. The Kobiashi Maru test from Wrath of Kahn was cool, let's do that. Let's see him roll around in bed with a green chick. You ever notice how Uhura doesn't seem to have a first name?
The whole damn thing felt less like "We have a story to tell about these characters" and more "YES! We got the license, we can legally say 'phaser'."
Exactly. And had to change the feel of things because they have a license to modify the canon. There are fan made versions of ship beauty shots and warping that are better than anything Hollywood put out, but 2009's popping in like Star Wars is just... no. I think I lost interest when they made the parking brake joke on Sulu. Anyone read the one paperback novel that tells about Sulu's first time at helm on the E? ("Kobayashi Maru") He actually DID flub leaving space dock... but not for a stupid joke. He didn't want to be on the ship (for reasons in the plot), figured the E was like a big freighter, and her nimble response to his commands threw him off. She won him over.
Kirk is the first cadet to make Captain before graduating.
JJ Abrams doesn't do plots
All he does is adolescent shouting and "running around"...and rehashing the same plot points with the primary plot advancement tool being just so happens to
Maybe the first act and a hook with a resolution TBD.