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As a 20 yo country kid living in an urban area for school, I got into hard drugs (sober for some time now).
On one occasion I met up with some folks in a crack house to make a purchase. I sat by myself in the front of the living room. It was divided from the rest of the room by a pile of furniture with blankets wrapped to make a wall, like a crack head blanket fort.
A kitten came up to be meowing very insistently, and I picked it up. It furiously licked my fingers, which had crack soaked into them (it melts and if you stupidly touch it then, it soaks in). I yelled over the blankets, "hey I didn't know you had kittens." The proprietor yelled back, "yeah dont worry about dropping anything here, theyll clean it up fast." It was a house full of crack addicted kittens.
Was this your dealer?
I hate that this is the first response i read. But it's such a ridiculous premise that i'm going to mentally dismiss it as fake, which - because of the ridiculous concept - i can do very easily. Please don't try to convince me it's real.