this post was submitted on 21 May 2026
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Showcasing the brazen and nouveau in English communication.
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Your password has been involved in a data leak - please update your password and provide a number for two-step verification in order to proceed to brushing your teeth
"We have your brushing history. We will show all your co-workers you only brush your teeth once a day unless you send us $10,000"
Amazing hahahah
And then, “This is the HR department calling. We’ve noticed a correlation in your declining performance with your worsening oral hygiene routine. We will be monitoring both metrics and you will receive a suspension if we do not see an improvement in both metrics within three weeks”