this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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Satan is like... so much cooler than God. Sorry not sorry
If you're like... bored on a Friday night... you're not calling Jesus, you know what I mean? You hang out with Jesus at the soup kitchen, but Satan? Satan's knocking on your window at 3am, Dodge Challenger on your lawn, beer in one hand, keys in the other like "You wanna take it for a spin, bro? I know a cool party downtown and the bartender owes me his soul, so we drink for free", you know what I mean? You don't come across a Satan all that often. You must cherish Satan, you know? Enjoy him while he's still around. Cause Satan? He goes where the fire's burning, you know? One day he might be gone and you'll be kicking yourself.
I dunno, Jesus is all about turning water into wine, flipping tables, chillin with hoes, and generally being nice to people. Sounds like some chill surfer dude energy
I always got lefty Redneck who's just a tad bit unstable vibes personally. Reminder he spent like a day crafting a whip for his table flipping excursion, also the whole sell your cloak and buy a sword quote. Also while the term carpenter is generally accepted broadly the ancient Greek term could also be used for general laborers, which seems more aligned with Rednecks to me. Well that or some Mexican-Americans I've known, but regardless you are either being called a bastard or a pendejo.
I think of Satan more as the Patrick Batemans of the world, and Jesus more as the Dude Lebowskis...
It should be clear which one I would rather hang out with...
Love this without the drinking and driving. But still love this.
Also, I can have a gay relationship with Satan to get our buttbaby delivered by christmas critters
Reminds me of Little Sunshine
I do enjoy me some Ghost. Deus In Absentia and He Is are probably my favorites. Monstrance clock and Missionary Man are great, too.
And let's hit a few kids and granny on the way to the bar, I wanna see how this car hold's up.
I'm just fooling around, cause your post is reallyentertaining to read, but I'm guessing you're american if your idea of fun implies a car.