Lesbians

789 readers

1 users here now

A community for lesbians, people whose loved ones are lesbians, people who want information about lesbians, queer people, and allies! Trans lesbians are lesbians and are welcome.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone

TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone

What do I do? How do I move on? (piefed.social)

submitted 2 weeks ago by wendyz@piefed.social to c/lesbians@lemmy.blahaj.zone

6 comments fedilink hide all child comments

She (23F) "Aiko" and I "Wendy" (22F) were friends who fell in love. After being together for a long time, 11 months ago I proposed to her. She said yes. We were fiancées. Well, she started spending less and less time with me, talked about her future with men and having biological kids which I simply couldn't do or be (a man and a biological father).

I ended up getting depressed in the relationship so I broke up with her. Aiko blocked me on everything and I tried waving to her when I saw her around the neighborhood. She just looked away and acted as if she did not know me.

I get she was hurt but I normally am used to the person agreeing and wanting to be my friend. What do I do about this? Do I cut contact permanently? Wait for her to be ready? What are your thoughts or experiences?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

Leave her alone. Be civil if you run into her and have to interact, of course. I find that the only way some people can "get over" a relationship is to let anger win. Otherwise, they have to deal with the pain and let their love evolve rather than stamping it out with negative emotions.

I think it's a symptom of toxic monogamy taught by many popular religions and media and accepted in most societies that requires that a person "fall out of love" with a previous partner in order to prove their love for a new person. Personally, I believe most of us are capable of loving multiple people at the same time without diminishing the love for any, but that's not the most common way of thinking. So, most are taught by family, religion, and/or TV to turn to anger or even hate to mask the love they still feel for a previous partner.