this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2026
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I want my corpse to be a truly amazing encounter.
That's why I plan to string myself up like marionette. My body will be ridged to drop when the bathroom door is opened. Than I will wiggle a preprogrammed dance well strobe lights and heavy techno music plays.
You might ask "how my bones will stay together?" Well that's where the embalming machine comes in to be activated as soon as my pulse flat lines. Perfectly preserved bathroom corpse surprise.
For her pleasure?
Edit: I thought it looked weird, just realised it's 'ribbed'. I'm not sure what a 'ridged' condom would be like, probably not great.
Remove cap before use.
That's my new band name sorted.