this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 26 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

Another movie pitch:

Due to management decision, a code freeze has been mandated to the main branch. 50 feature branches have accumulated waiting to be merged.

Management has now approved to lift the code freeze for 24 hours. Will the poor engineering team manage to merge all feature branches in time?

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (3 children)

Here's one for a TV show.

In 2022, a crack quality assurance team was made redundant by a CTO for a botched product launch they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximally unstable job market to the LinkedIn underground.

Today, still wanted by recruiters, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a broken codebase, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the QA-team.

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

You are amazing, you beautiful lemmy stranger, you.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

I am ramping a vehicle onto its roof in celebration

[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 2 points 15 hours ago

DO DODO DO DOO DOO. DO DODO DO DO

[–] ugo@feddit.it 4 points 17 hours ago

Very easy: merge everything, fix after the feature freeze. It’s a feature freeze, not a bugfix freeze

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 2 points 16 hours ago

Merge/test/fix on a separate branch and then merge this into main when the freeze lifts?

[–] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Merging all the feature branches in time is easy.

Having the project compile afterwards is hard.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 3 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

Is there a robust test suite?

Merge, test, merge, test, patch, merge, test

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 2 points 9 hours ago

If by test you mean wait for customers to yell at us, it's super robust

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago

Only some of the new code does. Unfortunately, most of the code base is 10 years old written in the good ol’ Anarchy Driven Programming paradigm.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 19 hours ago

The test suite takes 24 hours to run fully.