this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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Autism
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I've certainly had negative interactions on Lemmy and elsewhere.
With reddit… I'm not blaming you, but communities are how they are. Different subreddits are different.
If you're posting in /r/autism and experiencing that, then I'd perhaps suspect the issue might be more on your end - how you're presenting yourself. That said, there are a lot of toxic places on reddit, for sure.
I'm essentially no longer on reddit, but I was there since 2009. I still say things that get downvotes. Mostly silly jokes that whoosh over peoples' heads, but sometimes just randomly. It might be my fault some of the time, but it's definitely just the way it goes. Sometimes I make a comment and expect downvotes but get upvotes; and sometimes expect upvotes and get downvotes.
Also, "reddit" doesn't tell anyone anything. Users on the site certainly do. They're individuals deciding what to say, just like here - I am not Lemmy telling you any of this, I'm me. And if I was on reddit talking to you, I'd still be me.
That said, before I almost-completely withdrew from participating in reddit, I browsed /r/all on old.reddit using RES to filter out so so very many toxic subs (and subs I wasn't interested in).
There's plenty of neurospicy people on reddit (I was / limited-still-am one).
Thanks. I mean, I was on LesbianActually and AITAH, subs like that. And I'm poly and they were all like "YTA for having another partner..." (I said I was poly) "...and cheating on your fiancée"
I'm poly, and poly acceptance on reddit is very very low in most places. It's funny how that works. Homophobes are all "teh gay agenda, trying 2 convert us" and LGBTA+ is like "no, fuck off, we just want to live, thanks". Poly feels the same way - I mention poly and people push back that it's wrong, cheating, doesn't work. Yeah, well, it doesn't work for you if you're not poly in the same way if you are straight, you don't want to fuck your own gender.
I don't know LesbianActually because I don't hang out there for obvious reasons. AITAH doesn't completely surprise me, it's a mainstream sub. Lesbians are probably only marginally shunned, but poly? Shunned, I'm sure.
So basically, while I'm not blaming you........... you didn't know your audience was all. Probably better to seek advise in lesbian/poly friendly spaces. Again, don't know lesbianactually, but I would expect r/lgbt to be a little more accepting, and perhaps /r/polyamory - I think that's the subreddit, I don't hang out there. (In part because while I am poly, I don't practice currently and only ever did for a short period of time, so I hate reading about others' happiness lol)
I've no clue what your submission was about, but I see enough pieces here to not be surprised it didn't go well. I again don't blame you. I think there's spaces on lemmy where it also wouldn't go well. Poly is a fringe thing to be and acceptance is somewhat low, which I think is a shame because I think if more people realized they were poly, the world would be a happier place as there'd be rather less cheating.
I'm sorry you got banged up over there. :(
It's ok, thank you so much :( It sucks LOL