GenZedong

For the heck of it, I asked an LLM to see what it could come up with. Here are its suggestions:

1. The Laptop Class This is a very strong contender that has gained significant traction in recent years. It perfectly captures the modern reality of this group: their work is often non-manual, done remotely on a computer, and they enjoy a level of flexibility and cultural capital that sets them apart from traditional blue-collar or service workers. It implies a professional, often white-collar, identity that feels distinct from both the "boss" and the "worker on the factory floor." It feels very current and immediately understandable.
2. Yuppie This is a classic term from the 1980s ("Young Urban Professional") that has endured. It focuses on the consumerist and aspirational aspects of the labor aristocracy. A "yuppie" is defined by their lifestyle—gym memberships, expensive coffee, organic food, travel—and their career focus. While it doesn't explicitly mention a betrayal of the working class, it strongly implies a self-interested, upwardly mobile individual who is more concerned with personal success than collective action. It's a bit dated but still widely recognized and has a casual, slightly critical edge.
3. The Comfortably Numb This is a more cynical and highly descriptive phrase. It gets to the heart of the political function of the labor aristocracy. Their comfort—good salary, benefits, job security—makes them "numb" to the anxieties and struggles of the working poor and the precariat. It suggests a lack of urgency and a disconnection from the systemic issues affecting others. It's less of a label for a person and more of a description of their state of being, making it a powerful, if slightly less casual, term.
4. The C-Suite's Pets This is a much more direct and confrontational term, borrowing from the original's political sharpness. It's provocative and frames the relationship in explicitly subservient terms. It implies that this group's loyalty has been bought by corporate perks (high salaries, stock options, good healthcare) and that they act as a loyal, domesticated force for the interests of the "C-Suite" (executives). It's great for a more radical or critical discussion but might be too aggressive for casual use.

The Laptop Class has a nice ring to it, I feel, but could be taken too literally by people. C-Suite's Pets has me 💀

Edit: Wait, nah, I skimmed the article a bit, it seems iffy, removing it (Laptop Class seems to have some reactionary roots so ew).

Edit2: I prompted it about issues of reactionary connotations and it gave me a few more, one that I like: the gentrifier class.

What about westoid? Lol