this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Mental Health
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This is what bothers me about many of the youth around me with anxiety. They lean into it.
I'm not saying it doesn't exist, or that it's easy. I'm saying you need to do something proactive or it will never get better.
Everyone has some anxiety, everyone grew up with some anxiety, and yes some people have extreme debilitating anxiety.
Most people should be able to power through, make proactive changes in their lives, and get to a point where they can at least function.
But more and more I see people with mild anxiety leaning into it, regressing and retreating into themselves. Their parents confirming and amplifying the effect. And then they end up worse than they were when they started.
I'm torn because posts like OPs bring attention to those with extreme anxiety, who need allowances and recognition. But it also reaffirms those with mild anxiety, and they identify with it, and they suffer.
Getting a customer facing job was the best thing my buddies kid ever did. Turned her around, 180.
My other buddy got his kid loops for noise reduction in busy environments. He continues to get worse.
Its a matter of perspective, or storytelling if you prefer. If you think you have anxiety because you were born in the introvert camp and that's where you belong, then socializing will always be painful and improvement will be impeded indefinitely. If you think you have anxiety because you are simply inexperienced at socializing and need practice, then you will put yourself in challenging situations and attempt to improve yourself each time.
The stories we tell each other and ourselves are incredibly powerful in guiding our lives.
You are missing the OP's point. You can be born introverted and with severe social anxiety and still force yourself out of it. Yes there are those where it is serious enough that they can't . But that is extraordinarily rare.
In high school it was so bad for me that when I had to speak in French class I literally went blank. The teacher took pity on me and let me go to my desk and then read with my head down from my paper rather than in front of the class. No one else in my class of 30 had this problem.
10 years later I got a job where I had to teach TCP/IP across the county. That forced me into public speaking. So I learned to suck it up for 4 hours a day and then went back to my default. Then I started my own company which forced me to be continuously up beat and social. I used Data from TnG as my model where he adopted a command personality when it was needed. But after many years it became my personality.
I'm the one who calls friends now. I'm the one that hosts parties.