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I looked like a 10 year old girl the entire time I was in school and didn't attract any boys. My breasts only started growing after I graduated from high school and they're still small. I still look underage and still don't attract any men my age. I have never known a man to call me beautiful or hold the door for me, I don't know how to flirt and I can't imagine myself doing it.
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My mother always did all the work for me. Even when I was going to wash the dishes myself, shed snatch the plate out of my hands and wash it herself. Yes, I was the problem too, I wasn't persistent enough, but I was a lazy and apathetic child, and if someone did something for me, I never minded. Especially when my mother did it, it seemed natural to me. I didn't know that many girls my age already knew how to cook. Now I have to learn all of it myself and I feel incredibly pathetic as a woman.
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This close bond between mother and daughter is alien to me. I've never been close to my mother, I almost never shared my feelings with her. Partly this is because of my school years, when I had problems with other kids, and I didn't say anything to her so as not to upset her. And also, we are just very different people. She is very sociable, likes to talk for hours without expressing a single complete thought. I feel like a terrible daughter, but I just have a hard time to tolerate it, I tried, but I can't. I communicate much better with my father.
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I dont know how to look good. When all the girls in my school wore makeup, I didn't have any. When I was finally able to buy it myself, I looked really ridiculous. So much time has passed, and I still can't put makeup on well on this face. When I buy clothes for myself, they look stupid, it seems like I have no idea what suits me and what doesn't, and I don't know how to combine them well. I even watched video tutorials on this, but it doesn't help. I'm always amazed by schoolgirls with good makeup and stylish clothes. It's as if other girls have some kind of innate talent for it, but I don't.
There's a lot more I could say, but that's the gist of it. I don't know what to do, and I'd like to hear what other women with similar experiences think, but I wouldn't mind hearing what men think, too.
Men are also really bad at flirting. Just because men don't hold the door for you or obviously flirt with you doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. Also, speaking for myself, small boobs fucking rule and I prefer them.
That's on your mom. Almost no one has motivation to do chores as a kid. It's up to parents to either make it fun or work with their kid to understand the reasoning for chores and find motivation. The whole "women should cook and clean" thing is just misogyny. People have different interests and abilities. I'm the primary cook and cleaner in my house, my spouse is good at other things. It doesn't make me less of a man to do traditionally fem roles, if anything, it makes me more attractive. Learning household skills as an adult is something that many, many people have to do. It's nothing to be ashamed of, no one goes into the world fully prepared.
There's nothing wrong with not being close to your mom. I'm closer to my mom than my dad. They are just people at the end of the day, and some personalities work better together than others.
Makeup is overrated. Having good personal hygiene and developing your own style that accentuates what you want to accentuate will do wonders for your appearance and self confidence. Makeup is only one tool to that end, and isn't a necessity. You can be feminine and beautiful without knowing how to perfectly contour. Look up pictures of women that have similar builds to you and styles you like, and then try out different aspects of that style to see what feels good.
You aren't just a woman, you're an individual. There isn't some checklist that you need to fulfill to be a woman, every person has their own idea of what it means. You're going to feel a lot better if you stop trying to apply other people's expectations of femininity to yourself and accept yourself as the beautiful person- and woman- that you are.