this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
19 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

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19
Flirting (lemmy.ml)
submitted 16 hours ago by electric_nan@lemmy.ml to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Hi friends. Is it fucked up to flirt with someone with no intention of taking it further? I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship. Sometimes I crave a little validation from strangers. I'm not going to cheat on my partner, but I do have a need to feel desirable to others. I don't feel like a bit of flirting is a betrayal of my relationship, but I'm less confident about how other people feel. Like, I don't want to waste someone else's time, but I guess maybe I am leading people on a bit if I chat with them without mentioning my partner.

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[โ€“] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Why do you need to not mention your partner would be my question. I mean sure, if it doesn't come up, but it seems like you want to actively not mention them.

That in my opinion would be the only problem with this.

[โ€“] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 hours ago

This is a good question. I don't want to lie about anything. I wear a ring, and if asked I will say (and usually gush). That said, here's what happens: I don't ever approach a woman with the intention of flirting. If I want to converse with someone at the bar I'll invariably mention my partner pretty quickly to make it clear that I'm not hitting on her. I feel differently if I'm approached. I find it very flattering, and I want to enjoy that feeling for a few minutes.