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I looked like a 10 year old girl the entire time I was in school and didn't attract any boys. My breasts only started growing after I graduated from high school and they're still small. I still look underage and still don't attract any men my age. I have never known a man to call me beautiful or hold the door for me, I don't know how to flirt and I can't imagine myself doing it.
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My mother always did all the work for me. Even when I was going to wash the dishes myself, shed snatch the plate out of my hands and wash it herself. Yes, I was the problem too, I wasn't persistent enough, but I was a lazy and apathetic child, and if someone did something for me, I never minded. Especially when my mother did it, it seemed natural to me. I didn't know that many girls my age already knew how to cook. Now I have to learn all of it myself and I feel incredibly pathetic as a woman.
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This close bond between mother and daughter is alien to me. I've never been close to my mother, I almost never shared my feelings with her. Partly this is because of my school years, when I had problems with other kids, and I didn't say anything to her so as not to upset her. And also, we are just very different people. She is very sociable, likes to talk for hours without expressing a single complete thought. I feel like a terrible daughter, but I just have a hard time to tolerate it, I tried, but I can't. I communicate much better with my father.
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I dont know how to look good. When all the girls in my school wore makeup, I didn't have any. When I was finally able to buy it myself, I looked really ridiculous. So much time has passed, and I still can't put makeup on well on this face. When I buy clothes for myself, they look stupid, it seems like I have no idea what suits me and what doesn't, and I don't know how to combine them well. I even watched video tutorials on this, but it doesn't help. I'm always amazed by schoolgirls with good makeup and stylish clothes. It's as if other girls have some kind of innate talent for it, but I don't.
There's a lot more I could say, but that's the gist of it. I don't know what to do, and I'd like to hear what other women with similar experiences think, but I wouldn't mind hearing what men think, too.
My wife was in a very similar situation when we started dating. Here's how we worked on each of these problems :
Makeup : Find a Mac makeup counter. They take appointments, and in my experience love teaching people how to put on makeup.
Clothing: Try everything on. When you're trying it on, you're not just seeing if it fits. You want to see how it makes you feel. The big secret to clothes is as long as you feel confident in it, you'll get compliments. You don't need to know shit, other than if you like it. Go to a physical store, find their sale rack, and try on everything in your size. Look at yourself in the mirror wearing it. Build a couple of outfits. You might have to try on things multiple times. For an added bonus, after you have a couple of outfits, take them to a tailor. It's usually less than $25 per item, and will make everything pop.
Cooking: I know how to cook, she thought what I did was magic and wanted to learn. We watched Good Eats together. As we were cooking things together, I'd have her taste the ingredients at various stages so she knew how each changed. Good Eats will give you the techniques, tasting frequently will give you the pallet.
I've got nothing on flirting. We both suck at it. Her mom is still hard to deal with, even 20 years later.
It's very sweet to be honest 🥺 thank you!