this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
129 points (89.6% liked)
CoupleMemes
647 readers
320 users here now
Community dedicated to memes that often hit a little too close to home. Respect the instance rules and remember that sharing these memes with your SO might 50/50 put you in the doghouse.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Work != Fight
A lot of single people think any effort means the relationship is a failure.
They idealize this as an 'effortless' relationship... which usually is just a product of them being deeply selfish people who think their needs are all that matters. Typically, it's the 'if he wanted to he would' crap, which is just 'my partner should read my mind at all times' toxic mentality.
That's entirely true. wasted my 20s and nost of my 30s in effort intensive relationships because i thought i wasnt being a good enough boyfriend but the reality is i just didn't want to do those things for my exes, I didn't really love them like that. I just saw they were wonderful people and wanted them for that, but now im in a six year relationship and i never once felt like i had to make an effort. It just pops into my head to buy her flowers randomly and i do it joyfully, zero effort. I actually have to put in effort to spend less money on her that's the only effort i put in to the relationship, reminding myself we need to save and not to spend too much on her now.
You sound like a jerk, frankly.
Jerks make excuses for themselves like this, and reduce everything to their 'feelings'. Your current girlfriend isn't magically different than your exes, you probably just find her hotter and work harder for her, and you should have never dated those other women in the first place if you were not attracted to them.
Super common to find people who hate their partners or aren't attracted to them who refuse to make any effort because of that. It's usually because they are lazy and lack accountability, and often blame their partner for their lack of effort.