this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
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Imagine if the dumbest person in the world and humanity’s biggest asshole were the same person, and that guy was president. Then imagine he started a war with Iran. Now check the news. One look, and here’s what you should be thinking: “Yep, that tracks.”

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[–] I_Jedi@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

I, Donald Trump, would like to inform you all of the TRUE reason for the operation in Iran - we need to liberate the TrumpWater™ they stole from me!

The Department of Health has discovered a brand new compound called TrumpWater™ shortly after the start of my second term. All you need to do is breathe it in, and you'll be fully hydrated! And Iran is hiding the stuff on their oil rigs! They have some fancy equipment to detect TrumpWater™, so we need to take that too!

The RADICAL LEFT keeps calling TrumpWater™ dangerous, but they're all lying! Like Sleepy Joe! Oxygen likes to set things on fire, so I, Donald Trump, had the oxygen in water replaced for your safety! I had it replaced with clean, pure SULFUR! Iran knows how good TrumpWater™ is, so that's why they're hiding TrumpWater™ on their oil rigs! From both me and the RADICAL LEFT!

Get your bottle of TrumpWater™ today!