this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2026
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Women are being abandoned by their partners on hiking trails. What’s behind ‘alpine divorce’? (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 2 days ago by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world
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MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

I think we will have to agree to disagree on some points due to different backgrounds. On extremely crowded trails near me, danger from wildlife is just not common where I'm from. If I was in California, maybe I would have to worry about mountain lions, but even they do not like crowds, so I'm not sure what wild animals you are considering a risk. I think probably the most risky animal would be something you could get a bee sting and anaphylaxis from, which would be more dangerous in the back country, I agree. But it doesn't seem significantly different if you are hiking alone and the person right behind you calls 911 in 20 seconds when they reach you, or if the person right next to you calls 911.

Some trails have fall potential and some don't. It would be a very different thing to leave somebody to attempt half dome on their own versus a nice hike in the woods, even when going up to a pleasant summit.

I've heard kayakers say never boat alone, but where I live at least the same thing is not true for hiking, mountain biking or even rock climbing for that matter. Maybe that's a rule of thumb in your area that just doesn't exist here. I would definitely never ever swim alone, though. The common training here for hikers is to carry the ten outdoor essentials even on easy hikes, and practice leave no trace, including step 1: Always let somebody know where you're going and when you'll come back.

To me the biggest issue here is communication. If I was expecting to meet my hiking partner back at the car, but when I got there they had driven off already, I would be really miffed, not knowing what happened. It would be even worse if their car was there, but they were not there.

On the other hand, if they told me, hey, I've got to leave early, I'm going to head back to the trailhead now, and I said, okay, fine, I'll see you next time and finish the hike on my own. I don't see any problem doing that. To me, there's no set in-stone rule against hiking alone, the way there is for swimming alone or boating alone, because it is just not as risky, and, in fact, is quite routine. That's why it's hard for me to call most back country areas near me 'wilderness', because they are so close to civilization, so dominated by human impacts that there is just so little added risk that you wouldn't have in the front country.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 0 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm referring to bears, wolves, coyotes, and wildcats primarily. California is similar. There's large swaths of the US that are still very much wilderness even if there is a human population nearby.

So yes, perhaps our different perspectives is what is putting us at such odds over what a big deal this is. I would be very upset at a man who is visibly pissed off at me but won't communicate and keeps pushing ahead of me without saying what he wants.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 9 hours ago

Yes that would piss me off too!!

We also have a few venomous snakes that can injure people -- I didn't think of that at first! Typically never on the crowded trails but if you go on any branches they're there.