this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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Autism

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Autism and Relationships (feddit.org)
submitted 2 days ago by wisely@feddit.org to c/autism@lemmy.world
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Does anyone have any experiences, frustrations or advice that they would like to share about maintaining long term relationships or starting over as someone with autism?

I‘m a millennial woman, and keeping people in my life has been a lifelong struggle. Today my spouse wants a divorce after 16 years of marriage. The reason stated is because of autism. I’m introverted, like to plan things, tend to lose focus and it’s like people just eventually get bored of you.

I have no family support, grew up in the foster system. I would lose my health insurance, home and everything in a divorce. Friends are through my spouse.

Feel free to PM me too if you are interested in talking. Could use a friend or maybe advice trying to start my life over somewhere else that I can get healthcare. I also happen to be learning German but open to talking with anyone.

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[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm really sorry, that's a crazy long time for someone to decide you're too hard to be around after.

I've noticed I tend to naturally filter out the kind of people who think dating me is "Gumping it", so if I could share anything that you don't already know from 16 years of marriage it's just show your crazy early. And don't be with people who aren't also just at least a little neurospicy.

Also my ex went through a divorce before we got together and she always regretted not advocating for herself. Her husband left her with nothing despite being a high earner and also absorbing some of her own lesser income. Divorce settlement (depending on where you live) is supposed to leave you with finances that don't put you in a vacuum of precarity from losing your spouse. If you aren't able to advocate for that you should seek a legal advisor who can.