Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)
3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.
4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.
5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.
6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.
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About 60% of people prescribed antidepressants take them for a little over 2 years and less than 15% take them for more than 10 years. The recommendation is that they be taken for six to twelve months after major symptoms subside but there are exceptions to the recommendation depending on the particular diagnosis, persistence of minor symptoms, risk of relapse, etc. So you may be on them for a couple of years, maybe longer, maybe for life. Only a qualified medical provider who has evaluated you can tell, and even then they can only give you a best guess. Health is complicated and subject to change, mental health only moreso.
From your comments I get the impression that you're not actively suicidal, it sounds like you're in that emotional spot where you don't want to die but just not waking up doesn't sound so bad. I'm pretty familiar with that spot. You should be aware that when antidepressants start to work they often restore energy and drive before their effects on mood brings your unconscious thoughts to a less dark place. That's why they list suicide as a potential side effect. It's important to have social and emotional support, maybe even be in active therapy, during the first couple of months after you start antidepressants.
I'm not a doctor or therapist. Beyond recognizing your username I know pretty much nothing about you. I can't tell you what's right for you or your situation. What I can tell you is that antidepressants were life changing for me. I'll almost certainly be on them for life, and that was not a fun thing to deal with considering that I was born with multiple disabilities and medical anxiety/the thought of taking medication just to function close to normally everyday of my life was one of the bigger issues I needed to deal with. Mental health is no less real or valid than physical health. It's not weakness or failure to have an illness. Antidepressants, like any other medication, is a tool. Don't let social stigma or family pressure or your own anxiety stop you from picking up the tools you need to build the best life you can for yourself.