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181

Women are being abandoned by their partners on hiking trails. What’s behind ‘alpine divorce’? (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 2 days ago by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world

470 comments fedilink hide all child comments

MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Two people, can just not be right for eachother. It's okay to date someone and not have it not work out.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Totally. But that's not often how people see things when they are emotionally charged or the relationship was fraught from the start. And a lot of people engage in self-fulling prophecies or self-destructive behaviors. Many people only pursue relationships they know are going to fail, for example.

You also can try to break up with someone and have them physically attack you and stalk you for weeks later and they don't back off until you threaten them with legal/police action. You never know how people are going to react.

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

This is true. It took me three years one time to get rid of, a well, we will call a pest. Three years. Aweful. I don't harbor any hate to them anymore though, Ive healed and found myself.

But, as Im trying to teach my young son right now, we can't control what other people do or say, we can only control how we respond to it. Noting, there is a big differene in reacting, and responding. Lessons I wish I got as a kid ya know? Its good stuff.