this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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Anyone notice how all (well intentioned) advice for autistic people is just "mask harder"? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 22 hours ago by sveltecider@lemmy.ca to c/autism@lemmy.world
56 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

What the title says. Well intentioned, often other "neurodivergent" people look at your life, your autism, and say: "you should mask harder."

For example, I accidentally said something that offended a friend. Won't go into detail, but it was me unintentionally coming off as arrogant, not something bad like a slur or hate speech.

I asked for advice (elsewhere) and the advice was universally, "you see, NT avoid this topic at all costs. Going forwards, know it is best to avoid this topic."

But isn't this just saying "mask harder and be more palatable for everyone else"?

Every piece of "autism advice" I see even in "neurodivergent friendly" communities is basically "how to be less autistic."

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[–] Hegar@fedia.io 28 points 20 hours ago

Well intentioned, often other "neurodivergent" people look at your life, your autism, and say: "you should mask harder."

Yeah pretty much, right? But is any other advice possible?

"Here's how to appear less autistic" is really the only usable piece of info when the problem is "I'm autistic and that's never going to change but it sometimes causes problems".

"Learn how to politely say Fuck you deal with it it's definitely going to happen again" is the only other realistic option but that strategy is only effective in limited contexts.