this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2026
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Sounds like Emily doesn’t like waking up to fresh baked pizza for lunch from her loving father in a house large enough to have a yard you can build a pizza oven in. Poor Emily, she must live a really difficult life.
Her steak too juicy and lobster too buttery
Her boyfriend dick too big
I mean that's an actual problem to have
You mean that?
Howdy, In case you are asking out of genuine curiosity, yes! That can be a real problem for two reasons that immediately come to mind. Firstly, the average vagina is only as deep as the average penis, so a penis that is too long can cause pain durring thrusting for both parties. This is less of an issue with anuses since they do not strictly have an end. There is still such a thing as too deep though, medically. Girth can similarly be an issue since vaginas and anuses are stretchy, but only to a point. Secondly, humans do not have a bone in the penis to help it stay up. They rely almost exclusively on blood pressure. If the penis is too big, it can be very difficult to get an erection, once again making it a problem for all involved sexual parties. Cheers!
And sitting on an unfamiliar toilet can be fraught with peril as you may be graced with a kiss from Poseidon.
yeah you can hit her Cervix. And thats not a good feeling for her.
This is basically what I say to my wife when I get an idea like this and the result of said idea will only benefit her. Her response is almost always something to the effect of “well ok hang on”. Lady, I know you well enough to know the things you like. Let me help you
And guess who likes the pizza I make for her in the pizza oven, the fresh baked sourdough bread I bake for her, the tomatoes from the garden I dug, the beer I brew, the pasta I make, and the deer meat I shoot? What a terrible life she has
My wife has learned by now that I follow through.
She won a gift certificate to a kitchen store and I asked for, and reluctantly got, a cast iron pan.
Dozens of delicious pizzas (and other stuff) later she just buys me kitchen stuff she thinks I can use.
I feel you. We have fantastic cookware. We almost never use it. Why? I don't know how many years ago, I told my wife i wanted to buy a cast iron pan so sorry i know the budget's tight but i'm spending some date money. three date nights later, she told me we needed another cast iron pan.
We now have two cast iron skillets and a cast iron bread pan, which was used on the last loaf I posted. (It has a top so you get the full extra crust)
I love cooking for her.
we've got the 14 and the 12 skillets, a 6 quart dutch oven and a large ramekin (we call it the artichoke dish dip because that is the only thing i make in it)
food is my love language, so cooking with my wife is one of my favorite things
I sometimes wonder how many children Kenji has been indirectly responsible for creating. Must be in the thousands by now.
ha! i didn't realize what i was implying. yeah, no kids.
What makes you think, she is complaining?
When she called it a “god damn pizza oven” it came off as snarky to me
There's a lot of ways to say God damn and you've picked the most uncharitable one of them.
That’s fair. I’m trying to read it as god damn awesome, and I can see how it could possibly be read that way too