I'm not gonna lie, I've been depressed and hopeless for the past year, not because I feel I have nothing to live for, but because I do. I'm finally a real fucking person for the first time in my life, and I'm living through a nightmare world I somewhat expected. None of this really surprised me. I knew our future would be a horrific decline for my entire adult life, but I was prepared to face it because I didn't care whether I lived or died.
The year and a half I had as myself before I knew I'd have to live through fascism was the first time I was truly looking forward to my future. I naively hoped that I'd at least have till China invaded Taiwan to establish a life for myself without an extreme upending of the status quo, but then the worst came to pass and I knew it was only a matter of time till my future became fully criminalized.
So now all I can do is survive. To not get imprisoned and very likely die. To somehow outlast the hate directed at us and start to regain what was lost. I won't kill myself for them; they'll need to do it themselves.
The good thing is, that we still have the chance to affect things and fight against fascism. Even seeing how bad things get in USA (very sadly) might make it easier for people here to realize they don't want that.
And as a transperson in the nordics; even if things have been getting slightly worse for us unwanteds here as well, it's still not even close to how bad it was only like thirty years ago. We're people now and get state funded medical care for transitioning etc.