I'm not gonna lie, I've been depressed and hopeless for the past year, not because I feel I have nothing to live for, but because I do. I'm finally a real fucking person for the first time in my life, and I'm living through a nightmare world I somewhat expected. None of this really surprised me. I knew our future would be a horrific decline for my entire adult life, but I was prepared to face it because I didn't care whether I lived or died.
The year and a half I had as myself before I knew I'd have to live through fascism was the first time I was truly looking forward to my future. I naively hoped that I'd at least have till China invaded Taiwan to establish a life for myself without an extreme upending of the status quo, but then the worst came to pass and I knew it was only a matter of time till my future became fully criminalized.
So now all I can do is survive. To not get imprisoned and very likely die. To somehow outlast the hate directed at us and start to regain what was lost. I won't kill myself for them; they'll need to do it themselves.
It's sad that the people who spread hate are the loud ones and the people who just want to live their lifes ... just live their lifes. There are a lot of people who do not hate you and accept and appreciate you as you are. It's just that they're unseen and unheard because the hateful bigots drown their voices.
All the best to everyone who feels alone and hated. You're not, and it's a shame that we're not able to shield you from those assholes. I hope this shit storm will die out soon.
There is a certain amount of waiting for things, but things will not improve until people work hard to make things better. Things will not simply go back to normal, we need to make things better than before to prevent this from happening again.
edit: spelling and grammar
I agree, but I hope that people will start to feel ashamed again to be assholes in public. You will always have a certain amount of people you don't agree with. I just want to make sure not agreeing with me doesn't mean wanting to kill me. And they can not agree with me all they want as long as they do it behind shut doors.