This quote is from the February 2016 conversation where my ex-wife and I agreed to divorce. It didn't seem at all plausible ... if we'd tried to make it work for seven years (of which perhaps three were good) and failed, how the hell was that going to happen?
A decade later, we appear determined to find out. Neither of us has a car, which means Lyfts are the order of the day when I head up there (she has a kitchen and indoor plumbing, so she doesn't come down to my van).
And this is keeping things to a pretty steady monthly cadence (three data points is a trend, and she wants me there next week) of a few nights, which I think is the sweet spot.
I've taken myself off the market. She's pulling me in far more than pushing me away (though she still does do both). We're both in our mid-40's at this point and uninterested in starting our life stories from the top with a new partner.
Which means we could be settling for each other, just ground down by life and seeking familiarity. There's no way we work long term; her kids hate me, and as such, the windows where I can visit are dictated by being sure neither will knock on the door.
But at this point, we've been talking on the phone almost daily, usually for hours, since my dad died in November.
We are not the couple who hated each other in 2016. In 2026, we are something different. Almost curious ... prodding, seeing what's still there. And the answer is a lot; we've not kept things platonic.
But it isn't about the sex. As I've said before, it's about the touch.
My wife and I both comment often to friends that there is absolutely no way we would still be together if we had met each other any earlier in our lives.
It takes time to find out who you are before you can share your life with someone else, plus we don't all get to the same destination the same way.
We already had a five-year failure to get the whole thing started. She shot me down in 2004, and it took me not realizing I'd reached out to her at that point to make 2009 possible.
In fairness, her kids would have been 1 and 2 in 2004, and I don't do diapers. Five years later, they were obviously 6 and 7, which was doable. But we'd not figured out ourselves yet.