this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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It's a film thing. In film nobody meets through friends or slowly gets to know someone at work etc. It's always a cold meet and there is some surprising or awkward interaction that forces them together. That's the meet-cute.
https://youtu.be/nqEknI2kIag
yeah, like i legitimately do not know precisely when i met my wife.
if you want the long story (and be warned)
we met each other through a choir thing something like 7 years before we started dating. Our friend Terry was putting together an album and wanted backup singers and we all volunteered because (1) we were their friend (2) we were decent musicians and (3) album!. Well, After rehearsal 3 it was very apparent that Terry really needed to spend the next couple weeks revamping and holding, i don't know, auditions. Two thirds the folk there were excellent, showed up on day one already off book and ready to go. What they lacked in pitch they were capable of learning. The other third showed up day one expecting us to learn everything in rehearsal and what they lacked in skill they made up for in enthusiasm and well we could use the enthusiasm just not in front of the microphones and it's six weeks in and Terry was now using it as a gimmick to get people to go to her church. So there was a core group of us musicians [myself, my wife, three others, and Terry who we're all pissed at] and four folk who, uh, charitably can't carry a tune but have fun. The core of us decide without Terry we're wrapping up the album because we're not going to Terry's church just so we can learn songs to make an album for Terry that's never going to happen is it Terry. Each of us in the core group, we recorded a solo number (with as much backup from the rest of the band as we wanted) and then we recorded the songs Terry wanted with the full band and backup singers.You'd think as eventful as recording my first album was, I'd remember precisely when I met my wife. NOPE. This is actually pretty low drama for music people, i am pretty sure i have blocked most of it out in my alcohol. I asked for her number at some point and did not use it for seven fucking years (which is fair because I gave her mine and what did she do with it? Same godsdamn thing). We kept running into each other and becoming better and better friends until one of our friends told us we should go to a food festival together, where we discovered we are both science fiction dorks and ect ect ect. now we are teaching each other new musical instruments (i am teaching her bells, she is teaching me trumpet)
It was like this with my first wife. We knew who we had met through, but there were a lot of interactions and nobody knew what the first one was. We did not make strong impressions on each other. 😄
oh, i make a strong impression, it's just that precisely when was the first is hard to nail down. a lot was going on in both of our lives besides just that (she had three adult sisters in cancer treatment, also possibly one mother but she is one who does not take well to not being the center of attention so y'know, even wife was doubting it back then, and also she has father who was very gifted but stretched to his limit) the short version is that it was one of the worst years of either of us, just we somehow managed to start finding each other.
first date? friday before father's day. easy
Incredible, I thought I had heard all the bullshit but then something new comes along.
Truly, every day is a learning day.
I hate this so very much.
Which is used as a reference in shows and movies too, its the pun in "Meat Cute" from I, Zombie.