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Ultimate chad move - convince everyone else your midlife crisis is actually fashion (ArchonOfFlesh)
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OTHER COMMS IN THE HISTORYVERSE:
Also, hair on the top of your head means you have something to hide from the sky/sun god. Only the bald are pious and honest devotees, everyone else are duplicitous non-believers.
To be fair, even today, the bald look makes you look like an open book, as in nothing to hide.
Conversely the emo hair makes it look like you have something to hide (your emotional scars).