this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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What dating apps are really optimizing. Hint: it isn’t love (theconversation.com)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Beep@lemmus.org to c/technology@lemmy.world
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In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, dating apps typically see a spike in new users and activity. More profiles are created, more messages sent, more swipes logged.

Dating platforms market themselves as modern technological solutions to loneliness, right at your fingertips. And yet, for many people, the day meant to celebrate romantic connection feels lonelier than ever.

This, rather than a personal failure or the reality of modern romance, is the outcome of how dating apps are designed and of the economic logic that governs them.

These digital tools aren’t simply interfaces that facilitate connection. The ease and expansiveness of online dating have commodified social bonds, eroded meaningful interactions and created a type of dating throw-away culture, encouraging a sense of disposability and distorting decision-making.

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[–] yeather@lemmy.ca 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

But why limit yourself to the 4 million new customers when you could have 4 million news customers AND potentially 4 million retained customers from last year.

[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Because I'm not a sociopath. In this theoretical happily-ever-after dating app, I want to make people happy by connecting them with the right other people. Ongoing business comes from happy couples giving word of mouth recommendations to their friends and family, not from trying to lock in a misery subscription.

Maybe I'm old fashioned. I remember a time when capitalism meant "make money by doing something helpful for people" instead of rent-seeking bamboozle profits.